So, after a week of lounging about, I now have a semi-functional foot. You see, there is this horrendous condition caused by too much salt intake called 'Morton's Neuroma.'. Just fibbin. But, for the ladies tiptoeing about in skinny high heels, this is the result of all your late PM hijinks with Claude from the Sorbonne. Not due to Claude, who will give you worse bodily problems, but because of the shoes. Tight, pointy toed, 6" of butt in the air high heels. Not how I got this problem mind you, nor would I say so if I did. But somewhere out there, between your 3rd and 4th metatarsal lies a nice, unassuming, pleasant little nerve. It likes to tell you when you kick the bedpost and scream in pain or when you stomp a little honeymaker in the clover and end up with a huge painful toe. But, years of abuse also take their toll, and mashing a nerve twixt two bones leads to less than happy synapses. The little bugger gets all hot and bothered, then swells up like a pea. End result: Constant pain in the foot akin to standing on a stone every time you walk. Ow-wee.
So the doctor cuts this guy out, you hobble about for weeks, wishing you were not a slave to fashion or closet gay person who lives for ill fitting trendy shoes. Or, a person with a history of running or other foot abuse. As I sit here in an oxycontin fog I just wish to mimick some of my patients: If I had known I would live this long, I would have taken better care of myself. Man those old folks are smart.
baaaaaaarf.
Posted by: jamie | June 18, 2008 at 05:36 PM
They've now developed endoscopic techniques to take those little buggers out with even a smaller incision.
Posted by: Todd Schafer | August 02, 2008 at 11:41 PM